This table highlights the British trait of being too polite to speak one’s mind
If the vocabulary, pronunciation, and grammar weren’t hard enough, this table sheds light on just how difficult it can be for a foreigner to understand what the British really mean when they’re speaking. A very important lesson not taught at school.
The author of the table is unconfirmed, although it is thought it may have originally been drawn up by a Dutch company as an attempt to help employees working in the UK.
Other simple British expressions that could be misunderstood
What the British Say | What the British mean | What others understand |
16. Sorry | Not used as a heartfelt apology, rather it is used to avoid an embarrassing situation. Saying sorry is like a national tic. | I sincerely apologize |
17. How do you do? | This is a formal greeting and not an invitation for commentary on a person’s quality of life. Don’t take literally and reply truthfully, with a list of ailments. | Please provide a rundown of your most recent medical. |
18. Cheers | Not only used when clinking glasses in a pub, but also used instead of “thank you”, and signing off a phone call or an email. | To your good health |
19. It’s a bit dear | A way to politely say something is too expensive | It’s slightly adorable |
20. I got off with this fit bird | I made out with a good looking girl | I disembarked with an athletic pigeon |
21. All right, darling? | Informal version of “How do you do?” | How are you, love of my life? |
The Passive Aggressive List
What the British Say | What the British mean |
22. I might join you later | I’m not leaving the house today unless it’s on fire |
23. Excuse me, sorry, is anyone sitting here? | You have three seconds to move your bag before I end you. |
24. Not to worry | I will never forget this |
25. Bit wet out there | You’re going to need a snorkel because it’s absolutely pissing it down. |
26. Ending an email with “Thanks” | A warning that you’re perilously close to losing your temper |
27. Right then, I suppose I really should start thinking about possibly making a move | Bye |
28. It’s fine | It really could not possibly get any worse, but no doubt it will do |
29. Perfect | Well that’s that ruined then |
30. A bit of a pickle | A catastrophically bad situation with potentially fatal consequences |
31. Not too bad, actually | I’m probably the happiest I’ve ever been |
32. Honestly, it doesn’t matter | Nothing has ever mattered more than this |
33. You’ve caught the sun | You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano |
34. That’s certainly one way of looking at it | That’s certainly the wrong way of looking at it |
35. If you say so | I’m afraid that what you’re saying is the height of idiocy |
36. With all due respect | You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about |
37. Saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible to people that don’t say thank you | Used as a form of punishment |
38. Meanings of “I beg your pardon” | 1. I didn’t hear you2. I apologise3. What you’re saying is making me absolutely livid |
39. It could be worse | It couldn’t possibly be any worse |
40. Each to their own | You’re wrong, but never mind |
41. Pop round anytime | Please stay away from my house |
42 I’m just popping out for lunch, does anyone want anything? | I’m getting my own lunch now, please remain silent |
43. No no, honestly, my fault | It was exceedingly your fault and we both know it |
44. No yeah that’s very interesting | You are boring me to death |
45. Just whenever you get a minute | Now |
46 No harm done | You have caused complete and utter chaos |
47. I’m sure it’ll be fine | I fully expect the situation to deteriorate rapidly |
48. Sorry, I think you might have dropped something | You have definitely dropped that specific item |
Fairly helpful, I think, and worth a quick read.
[Completely correct in all regards, read it now, read it carefully, memorize it, and don't ask me any more stupid questions about what I mean or look confused every time I use words that have more than two syllables. Bloody Americans.]
Nicked can also mean arrested
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