The Courtesy Edition

1. You start driving in the middle of two lanes.

2. You can happily stand on the right-hand side of escalators.

3. You no longer say excuse me when you bump into someone.

4 You can guiltlessly pick your nose, burp or pass gas in public.

5. You make a real mess at McDonalds and don’t see why you should clear up.

6. You develop an uncontrollable desire to stop dead and plan your day at the end of an escalator.

7. You’ve stopped waiting for people to exit an elevator, the train, etc. before pushing your way in.

8. In bars, you consider it perfectly normal to wait 15 minutes for your change after ordering a drink.

9. You didn’t know your $200,000 car came with an indicator. You assumed this was an optional extra.

10. You spend the day shopping and every shop assistant you come across is rude to you – and this does not give you a complex.

11. If you want a taxi, go and stand 20 feet up the road from someone who’s been waiting for 10 minutes. Ignore filthy looks from that person.

12. You are no longer irritated when the phone rings and the person on the other end – after a series of hellos – asks “who is this?” and becomes indignant when you ask the same question back.

13. When walking along the street and a man puts the finger along his nose and snots on the path in front of you, rather than register disgust and nausea, you instead just make a mental note just walk around it.